Dear Body,
Last year, I wrote you an apology letter.
Last October, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. We struggled through an intense labor, and I threw my ideas of a natural birth out the window, and when my baby boy was put into my arms, I didn't feel the least bit like I failed. I didn't have the guilt other women told me about, the guilt about wanting a natural birth and ended up in an induced labor that lead to an unplanned c-section.
Tonight, after feeding Kaiden in the rocking chair, he rolled over in my arms, flat on his tummy, stuck his thumb in his mouth and fell asleep. My eyes filled with tears, and I sat there and rocked with him in the silence, listening to his little breaths as they brushed against my arm. I have moments like these all the time, when I feel frustrated, exhausted and scared...but these moments? The moments when Kaiden is still and happy and content? Those are the moments that remind me that everything I've been through to get him was well worth it.
So, Body, I am thanking you. The struggle was hard, and I wanted to quit many times, but if I didn't have the struggle, I wouldn't have my Kaiden. I don't know what will happen moving forward...I don't know if I'll struggle again in the future...but I do know that I am grateful for what I have now, and I wouldn't ever have it any other way.
Love,
Stephanie
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