35 Weeks: Why I want to attempt a natural birth...

Firstly, it isn't to prove anything to anyone. I don't really care how someone else might have done it, I don't care if someone else used drugs or not...it's a personal choice for everyone. But, women who have gone through medicated cycles tend to look down on women who want to attempt a natural birth and wait for the moment that the mother admits to breaking down and asking for an epidural, just so they can feel smug about it. I don't understand why women do this to other women, but it happens all the time.

When people ask me if I am planning to go natural or not (which is a rather strange question to be asked in the first place), it is as if they are waiting for me to say that I am, just so they can tell me things like, "Medicine is there for a reason! Why wouldn't you use it?" or "Are you crazy? Just get the epidural, then you won't feel anything!" And variations of those remarks, not all of which are so nicely phrased.

So, I wanted to make a post explaining my reasons, and maybe people will read it and be more reluctant to ask such personal questions of mothers.

#1: As I already stated: It's not to prove anything to you. I don't have anything to prove to you, nor do I really care. I feel like I have to emphasize the word "TRY" when referring to my want to have a natural birth, but at the same time, I shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have to be prepared to say, "I had an epidural" and for people to respond with, "HAHA! TOLD YOU!" If you are going to be one of these people, be prepared for my bitchiness to come shining through night and bright.

#2: Why wouldn't I use the medicine that is there? Well, let me tell you...if anyone has taken more advantage of medicine in this process, it's me. I used all sorts of medicine to get my son, and I am grateful for all of it. With that said, the process of making my baby was a very UNNATURAL thing to have to go through. It was not romantic. It was not easy. Babies aren't supposed to be made in petry dishes. This is not something I can just forget. Sometimes, it stings just a little bit that I couldn't experience the beauty of getting pregnant the natural way.

Because of this, I want to try and have the most natural experience I can when birthing my baby into this world. Try. I am not putting myself above meds, but I am saying that I rather go at it naturally. It's the least I can do for my son and for myself. I want to feel the pain. I want to know that this is all real. That my fight was real, that this journey was real, and that my end prize is real too.

#3: I want to feel the rush. The natural high. I want to know that my body is doing what it is supposed to be doing, after 27 months of hating it for not doing what it was supposed to be doing.

#4: I am confident. I have no reason to go into that labor and delivery room and think that I can't do it. I am also humble, though, and if I can't handle it, I won't hesitate to ask for help. I am trying to avoid an epidural for other reasons (such as migraines), but there are plenty of other options for me to take advantage of, and if I need them, I will pursue them.

I guess, my reason for writing this entry is simple: Don't be quick to say "I told you so." I will be just as quick to tell you to go F yourself. This isn't about you. It's about me and my baby, and if I want to go into it with the expectation that I'm going to have a natural birth, then you should be nothing but supportive of it.  And that goes for all expectant mothers, especially first timers. It doesn't matter how your birth went; my birth will be my own, and it will go the way it goes for me. Let it be my own. Let it be mine.

That the end of my semi-rant for today. :)