PCOS, Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding and Weaning

It has been hellish the past three weeks. PCOS has reared its head in a new way with me, and we've been at a loss as to what to do. Basically, without getting into all the details, I had a few periods that were only ten days apart from each other, and the bleeding went on for over two weeks. The last cycle, the bleeding was really heavy, and I was supposed to go to the ER, but I didn't because it sounded stupid. The bleeding stopped on its own, and I was put on birth control to help level out my hormones.

Ten days after that, the bleeding returned. It was medium flow for two weeks, and then all of the sudden got really, really bad. It scared me, and I did end up going to the ER. Now, I am taking a bunch of birth control pills at once to try and stop the bleeding, but it's not working. If there is no change by tomorrow, I have to go back to the hospital. I suspect the next step is a D&C, which I am terrified of, but my friends assure me that it's not so bad. We will see what they decide to do next. All of the blood loss is exhausting, and all of the birth control pills are making me feel sick on top of it.

And then there is the weaning. My baby is weaning. I didn't want to believe it at first, but it makes sense. When a breastfeeding mom gets her period, the milk becomes a bit salty, and some babies don't like that. Normally, though, the milk goes back to normal when the period is over. But, I've been on my period for nearly two months now, and with all the birth control I have to take on top of that, my supply is probably non-existent, and the milk tastes very salty.

I noticed he was nursing less than he normally does. He usually nurses in the morning and at night, but instead, Kaiden would latch on and not suckle, he'd just "talk" to me. He just wants to be close. But this morning, I asked him if he wanted milkies, and he very clearly shook his head and said "no." So, I tried to sit down and offer anyway, since this concept of saying "no" and meaning "no" is new to him, and he doesn't always get it right. Even when offered, he didn't want to nurse. He just kissed my boob, stuck his thumb in his mouth, and snuggled up against it. Again, he just wanted to be close.

And that is when I realized that it is probably over.

Yesterday, I was okay with this notion. I accepted it. I patted myself on the back and said, "I didn't even think I could make it a week, let alone sixteen months."

But today, I keep blaming myself for our nursing relationship coming to an end. Again, my messed up body and PCOS has managed to take something away from me.

My mother-in-law warned me that it would be sad when it ends. My husband weaned when he was fifteen months old, and it was very sudden. She said she cried for days because she just wasn't ready for it to happen.

I wasn't ready for it to happen either.