PCOS, Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding and Weaning

It has been hellish the past three weeks. PCOS has reared its head in a new way with me, and we've been at a loss as to what to do. Basically, without getting into all the details, I had a few periods that were only ten days apart from each other, and the bleeding went on for over two weeks. The last cycle, the bleeding was really heavy, and I was supposed to go to the ER, but I didn't because it sounded stupid. The bleeding stopped on its own, and I was put on birth control to help level out my hormones.

Ten days after that, the bleeding returned. It was medium flow for two weeks, and then all of the sudden got really, really bad. It scared me, and I did end up going to the ER. Now, I am taking a bunch of birth control pills at once to try and stop the bleeding, but it's not working. If there is no change by tomorrow, I have to go back to the hospital. I suspect the next step is a D&C, which I am terrified of, but my friends assure me that it's not so bad. We will see what they decide to do next. All of the blood loss is exhausting, and all of the birth control pills are making me feel sick on top of it.

And then there is the weaning. My baby is weaning. I didn't want to believe it at first, but it makes sense. When a breastfeeding mom gets her period, the milk becomes a bit salty, and some babies don't like that. Normally, though, the milk goes back to normal when the period is over. But, I've been on my period for nearly two months now, and with all the birth control I have to take on top of that, my supply is probably non-existent, and the milk tastes very salty.

I noticed he was nursing less than he normally does. He usually nurses in the morning and at night, but instead, Kaiden would latch on and not suckle, he'd just "talk" to me. He just wants to be close. But this morning, I asked him if he wanted milkies, and he very clearly shook his head and said "no." So, I tried to sit down and offer anyway, since this concept of saying "no" and meaning "no" is new to him, and he doesn't always get it right. Even when offered, he didn't want to nurse. He just kissed my boob, stuck his thumb in his mouth, and snuggled up against it. Again, he just wanted to be close.

And that is when I realized that it is probably over.

Yesterday, I was okay with this notion. I accepted it. I patted myself on the back and said, "I didn't even think I could make it a week, let alone sixteen months."

But today, I keep blaming myself for our nursing relationship coming to an end. Again, my messed up body and PCOS has managed to take something away from me.

My mother-in-law warned me that it would be sad when it ends. My husband weaned when he was fifteen months old, and it was very sudden. She said she cried for days because she just wasn't ready for it to happen.

I wasn't ready for it to happen either.

Pre-TTC: Postpartum PCOS

Doctor after doctor, woman after woman have told me that with PCOS or an unexplained infertility, that sometimes the body "learns" what it should do after it has already been pregnant and had a baby. I was skeptical of this, and I still am.

But, it seems that I have ovulated on cd 15, without medication...which...is a first. My chart suggests that I did, but I didn't use any OPKs or anything to back it up. We aren't planning to TTC again for a little while, to put some space between Kaiden and the next baby, so I don't have a need for OPKs, which hardly work for me anyway.

I am impressed, though, if I did manage to ovulate on my own! We will see if it is a fluke or not next cycle.

I am also asking my GP if I can go on metformin to see if it does anything. I am not insulin resistent or diabetic, but it can help women with PCOS and non-IR to regulate. I will keep everyone updated!

The Low Down

Welcome to my blog about my journey to getting pregnant. I started this so that I'd have a place to write and vent about this process without spamming people on my facebook, especially when some people just don't care.

So, some background on this whole process. Brandon and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year now. Unfortunately, with my PCOS diagnosis, it has made it difficult. I don't ovulate when I am supposed to, or at least not without help from some medicine (Clomid), and therefore, it makes it very difficult for me to get pregnant on my own.

I have been charting my BBT temps for a year, I've been on Clomid for four months, and now we are preparing for our first IUI (artificial insemination) cycle in January. We are hoping that this will be the end of the trying to conceive (TTC) journey and the beginning of our pregnancy journey, but we will see.

The only thing I ask, if you are following this blog, is not to tell me anything that goes along the lines of "things will happen in their own time" or "it will happen when you stop trying." This is very frustrating to hear, especially from people who have not been through this struggle before and have no idea what it is like to hear those words.

Also, this blog is going to be filled with way too much information, so if you aren't up for TMI, then close your eyes. :)