Keeping Quiet

For reasons unknown to me, I spent this hurricane-y morning watching You Tube videos of women telling their significant others and their families that they are pregnant. At first, it was cute. But then, it made me angry. I decided to alter my search for women who were dealing with infertility telling their loved ones that they were pregnant. This was much more uplifting to me. I know my husband probably won't react the way I want him to, since he's made of stone and feelings aren't really his strong point, but I really can't wait to see what our parents do when we tell them.

It's for that reason that I am not going to announce any results through my blog this time, be it positive or negative, until my family knows. If it is positive, I want to see their reactions. I want to have that be mine. After all of this work, all of this struggling...I want to relish in that moment, and not have it be spoiled by them finding out through some webpage.

I know a lot of people out there are routing for me, and I appreciate it. I love your support, and I honestly don't know where I'd be without it. So, I hope you respect my decision, and that you understand if I drop off the face of the earth come the end of November. :)

On another note, I haven't updated in a little while, so here goes!

My genetic testing came back, and it turns out I am a carrier of Canavan's Disease. This is a degenerative disease that affects children, usually killing them before the age of ten. It is also usually found in those who have Jewish blood, which I suspect probably lies in my father's side of the family, since we are the closest to Eastern European, as I can trace our family name (which is German) back to Poland. So, surprise! I have Jewish blood!

What does this mean? Well, it doesn't mean much of anything if my husband turns out not to be carrier. But, if he IS a carrier, then it means our children have a 25% chance of having Canavan's. We are currently waiting for his test results, as my IVF cannot go forward without them. If he is a carrier, then we would undergo PGD, which is genetic testing of our embryos. This would allow us to choose the healthy embryos from the diseased ones. We could also find out ahead of time if our embryos are boys or girls, which is sort of strange.

I let my full-blooded sister know, since she has a 50% chance of also being a carrier, and the lab said that's the responsible thing to do! So, that's all said and done. I am still waiting for my husband's results, which should be in this week.

My last birth control pill will be on Nov 1st, unless the hurricane interferes, or if my husband's results don't come back in time, or if our paperwork isn't returned in time. If any of these things goes awry, I will continue on the pills a little longer until all is in place, no big deal.

My stims should start around November 4th, if my ultrasound looks to be good. Hopefully so! I'm ready to get this show on the road!

Another woman from fertility friend, is using SGF as her clinic, and she was also on the protocol I will be on, and she got AMAZING results, with something like 26 eggs harvested. She has given me so much hope! I just know that my choice to switch fertility centers was a good one. I really have faith in this cycle.

:)