Last year, when I went on my family vacation, it was just after my first, failed IVF cycle, and at the beginning of my next cycle. I remember sitting on the beach, staring at other babies and asking myself why I didn't have mine yet. Hell, I thought that I'd be nice and plump and pregnant at that time...to no avail. I wasn't. I was empty. I told myself "maybe next year" and trudged on.
This year, I got to be the girl in my daydreams. I got to sit on the beach and show off my little belly. I got to touch it and feel my baby move and know that all I went through was worth it, even if the failure hurt so much the year before.
The pregnancy has been doing really well. This past week was a challenge for me, since it involved walking up and down a boardwalk, which was about three miles a day, and sitting out in the sun, which I don't normally do. I had a few lapses of BH contractions that slowed me down, and my husband kept reminding me to drink water and rest. I know I missed out on some things because I was napping, but it was all a strain, even if others maybe didn't understand it.
The baby was super active this week too. He was kicking and rolling all around, enough that other people could FINALLY feel him. Every time I let someone feel him kick, he goes still, as if knowing that he's being difficult. One morning, I put my husband's hand on the side of my stomach (where the baby has been hanging out lately), and the baby kicked him and rolled around in rapid succession. My husband pulled his hand away and said, "Okay, that was weird. It's like an alien in there!" Because the baby is moving up, I feel his little kicks up higher...and they aren't so little anymore. Yesterday, I could see his whole body roll over in my stomach...that was very strange to witness. I am glad he is moving up, though, because usually he sits WAY down low and kicks me in my bladder, or drops lower after I empty my bladder. It's so uncomfortable, and it causes me to have to pee a million times a day. On the way to the shore, in the span of forty-five minutes, I had to have my husband stop to let me use the restroom three times. Haha.
Now for the TMI...
Toward the end of the week at the shore, though, I became sick. Everything I ate immediately came back out the other end. This eventually caused some really, really bad hemorrhoids. Bad to the point where I was in tears, couldn't walk, and couldn't sleep without excruciating pain. I tried everything in my arsenal, had my brother-in-law run out and get some suppositories for me (totally embarrassing, btw), then decided to call the OB after hours line. It was either that, or go to the ER at that point, since I couldn't handle the pain anymore, and I rarely get to that point. I also have a hard time getting to the point where I know I need help, and then actually going to GET the help. I never think what I am going through is enough to warrant going to the hospital.
The OB called me back pretty much right away. He told me that he was concerned about the diarrhea, since I had it for two days straight, and I wasn't retaining the food I ate. He told me to stop drinking water, start drinking Gatorade, and find some fiber supplements to try and...uh...firm things up. As for the hemorrhoids, he told me to keep up with the OTC remedies and warm baths, but if it continues to be this bad in a couple of days, I might have to to go the hospital to get them lanced, since they might have thrombosed, or clotted.
Uh, no thanks.
The husband ran out and got me some Gatorade, which I chugged down, and brought me some Fiber One granola bars...because that's how my husband rolls. That didn't help the pain any, though. Eventually, I gave up and tried to go to bed.
This didn't work. At all.
I stayed up all night long due to the pain. I cried, I tossed and turned, the baby tossed and turned, I shook from the pain, I walked around and tried to sleep again...and eventually I fell into a fitful sleep at around 3 a.m. and woke back up at about 6 a.m.. It was still very hard to move or walk, and we had to pack up the beach house to get ready to go home. I was still having the runs as of the morning, but I went out to breakfast and ate, because I knew I had to get some nutrients in me. After a short walk on the boardwalk, my husband and I decided to drive home, since I hurt too much to do anything else.
I stopped at the Rite Aid and bought a donut pillow to sit on for the ride home, some Tucks spray, and a sitz bath for when I got home. Thankfully, by the time we got to the first rest stop about an hour and a half in, I was feeling a little better in the bottom area. I was very, very bloated, but this was nothing in comparison to how I felt the night before. When I went to the bathroom, I saw that the hemorrhoids had started to bleed, which is good, because that meant they probably weren't thrombosed after all.
Long story short, after a sitz bath and some more donut pillow, they are mostly gone now, thank God. I am still having some issues with my bowels, and I ended up going to urgent care to get some tests done. Nothing is standing out but maybe a budding infection, which will be re-tested on Monday.
Oh, the joys of pregnancy. I love every moment...just not the hemmies.
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