I wrote my last post on my phone, so I thought I'd clarify a few things now that I have a keyboard in front of me.

The nurse said that my RE wouldn't prescribe the Clomid all on its own, and that I'd have to do an IUI with it. I don't know why this is, but I'm not going to argue with a doctor. So, another IUI was one of my choices.

The lap has its up side and it's down side. On the up side, they'd be able to see if there's a problem that they didn't catch before and they could fix it. On the down side, if I get it done and there's nothing wrong, I wasted a cycle.

Finally, the IVF. It has the highest success rate, and I don't need the lap to get it done because with IVF you bypass all the issues that would be found in a lap anyway. The up side to the IVF is that it's most likely to work (fingers crossed). The down side is that it takes 6-8 weeks to complete one IVF cycle. I'll start birth control in a couple of days, and when that is done, I'll start my daily shots and bloodwork and all that jazz. It's a horribly long and tedious process, but if I get my baby in the end, that's all that matters.

I guess most of my being upset is stemming from the fact that I never thought I'd be someone who would have to go through IVF. I'm 27 years old. Why is this happening to me? But, as my husband pointed out to me -- everyone is different. And this is just the way it is. If we want our baby, we're going to have to go down these roads we never saw ourselves on in the first place.

I feel like I've failed him. I feel like I'm failing my family and his family because I can't work the way I am supposed to. I've been at this for 15 months now. I could have had a baby by this point. But I have nothing to show for. That's really what hurts down inside. I am a broken woman.

But we will prevail. Somehow, I'm going to get through this. Tears and all.