12 DPO today with no lines on anything. It's taken until today for it to hit me that this IUI probably failed too...and I'm really sad. Really, really sad.
I don't know what comes next now. I'm so emotionally exhausted from all of this, and I'm not sure I can go through with IVF when I'm just so tired. Part of me wanted to wait until the summer to do IVF, and that's probably the best idea, but at the same time, I know I won't allow myself to breathe between now and then. I'll just continue to worry and become bitter that I can't seem to function the way I'm supposed to.
I tried not to put so much stock into this cycle so that I wouldn't be hurt...but I hurt. I hurt a lot. I don't know what I did in my life to deserve this, but I wish I could fix it somehow so it would all go away.
I hate this. I really want to give up. I'm so tired.
(hug). Always remember that it is okay to feel whatever you feel. Give yourself permission. (hug) Whatever you decide--it really is okay.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kerry, my Dear. I know what you're going through, and certainly I know how you feel. Give yourself time and permission. Be good to yourself. And please don't give up hope. Sending light and love your way...
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