And it didn't hurt any less being told so either.
The nurse didn't call me. My doctor called me. He said, "I am sorry, I don't have good news." I told him I already knew. Then, he asked me what insurance I had. I told him, and he asked me what my IVF coverage was like. I informed him that I am covered, in full, up to 100,000 in my lifetime. I'm beginning to realize now, what a small, small number that is. And I think, so does Dr. Y.. His suggestion to me is to do a whole, new, fresh cycle, instead of transferring the frozen embryos. His reasoning is that if I go through my coverage allotment, frozen embryo transfers (FETs) are a lot less cheaper to pay out of pocket than fresh cycles. I think his hurt me more than hearing that I definitely wasn't pregnant. I don't want to do this again. I don't have it in me to do it again...
He also said that he wants to change up my protocol a little more. Something about using lower doses for a little longer, and keeping the Lupron trigger. I also do not want to do this. I don't want to have to give myself shots every night for any longer than I did before.
I don't know what to do. I can't think straight right now anyway.
Why do I have to be such a broken person?
What did I do to deserve this? Surely, I am not being punished for no reason, right? So what did I do?
Please tell me, so I can make some sense of this.
What did I do?
The nurse didn't call me. My doctor called me. He said, "I am sorry, I don't have good news." I told him I already knew. Then, he asked me what insurance I had. I told him, and he asked me what my IVF coverage was like. I informed him that I am covered, in full, up to 100,000 in my lifetime. I'm beginning to realize now, what a small, small number that is. And I think, so does Dr. Y.. His suggestion to me is to do a whole, new, fresh cycle, instead of transferring the frozen embryos. His reasoning is that if I go through my coverage allotment, frozen embryo transfers (FETs) are a lot less cheaper to pay out of pocket than fresh cycles. I think his hurt me more than hearing that I definitely wasn't pregnant. I don't want to do this again. I don't have it in me to do it again...
He also said that he wants to change up my protocol a little more. Something about using lower doses for a little longer, and keeping the Lupron trigger. I also do not want to do this. I don't want to have to give myself shots every night for any longer than I did before.
I don't know what to do. I can't think straight right now anyway.
Why do I have to be such a broken person?
What did I do to deserve this? Surely, I am not being punished for no reason, right? So what did I do?
Please tell me, so I can make some sense of this.
What did I do?
YOU didn't do anything and you darned well know it!! That is rubbish and you need to stop it. If you don't want to do the whole thing again right now then don't. Take a break and try to enjoy the holidays and destress a bit.
ReplyDeleteNothing, absolutely nothing. I agree with PP. Im not fortunate enough to have insurance coverage, so I have to get financed--something I can only afford to do one time. Give yourself some time to think things through and relax.
ReplyDeleteWhen there are no words...I send you hugs.
ReplyDeleteYou did nothing to deserve it and deep down you know it.
ReplyDelete