Yesterday, I ran into one of my first injection dilemmas. I had a writing meeting to go to that started around 5 (if I were to go to dinner), or 6 (if I skipped dinner). I take my injections at 7pm. There is only supposed to be an +/- hour difference, if any, between shots. And so, I had to decide if I wanted to go to the meeting and bring all my injects with me, or skip it for the third time in a row and go with my husband to our friend Adam's instead. In the end, I went to Adam's and brought my injects there, since I felt much more comfortable mixing the medicines and stuff in my friend's house, than in the bathroom of a library (which I'd have to have done if I went to the meeting).
While trying to decide this, I had a little breakdown. I realized just how abnormal all of this is, and how unfair it is that I have to be going through it when other women just get to become pregnant on their own. I have bruises and veins that won't cooperate anymore, and appointments every morning, and ultrasounds and this that and the other...and it's so much. This is so much.
The end result will be worth it. That is what I try to keep in mind. All these damned appointments and needles will be worth it. But that doesn't make it any more unfair. I have to be honest and say that I am so over IVF at this point...but I have a few more days to go before I transition into the next stage of the game: the two week wait.
Hopefully, I have a bit of a break from all these appointments during that time. I need some time to put my head back on straight.
It will be worth it, and you will appreciate your child much more than the people who never had to make an effort.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you received an award from me. See my blog for details.
Thanks for the award! I'll have to be creative with it tomorrow. :)
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