I am PUPO!

I am PUPO! That's the term us ladies in the IVF community use after a transfer. PUPO = Pregnant until proven otherwise. What a wonderful feeling, to be technically pregnant. To know that right now, I am carrying around my little embryo. <3

I will start at the top of the day. The embryologist called me at 7 am to tell me that not only is my transfer still scheduled as planned, but all nine of my embryos made it to day five. We were both so happy about this because it is such a rare occurance, and I wasn't expecting it to happen, really. In my mind, I was trying to be a realist and kept telling myself that only 30% of embryos make it to a day 5 transfer...and here I am, defying the odds. 100% of mine made it. Not only are they defying the odds, but I also can't help but to think back to my previous RE who was trying to tell me that my egg quality was bad due to my weight, and that we couldn't move forward until I lost about thirty pounds. There was nothing wrong with my eggs at all. In fact, B and I make beautiful, healthy embryos.

The best embryo was picked to transfer today. Two blastocysts were taken to be frozen already. The others will be watched for another day or two, and then the ones that are still going strong by tomorrow will be frozen. So, I already have at least two on ice. I could potentially have nine on ice. I won't know until next week, sometime.

I was so happy this morning. B said that he is going to call the embryo we put back "THOR." I told him that name is not carrying over to our baby, but he's enjoying the nickname none-the-less.

Before we left, I prepped the pie and the card that I bought for the staff at SGF. Inside the card, I wrote, "We are thankful for you giving us hope." Then, I took a sports bottle filled with water (the procedure has to be done on a full bladder to get the best ultrasound image) and we head out.

A pumpkin pie.

Thank You Card and Pie

B hates taking pictures. I asked him to look happy as we head out to our big day, and this is what I got. Hahaha.

Our doggie, Sailor, was happy, though. :D

When we got to the hospital, we went up to the center's office so I could drop off the pie and the card. The secretary was so grateful and wished me luck at my transfer. I didn't want to linger in there too long because there were other patients in the waiting room, and I have to be mindful of whatever they might be feeling today too. While I might be happy and joyful, I have no idea what their situations are. So, we scooted out and down to the women's surgery center.

A nurse escorted us right back into one of the patient rooms. I changed into my hospital gown, and she came back to tell me that it was going to be about another hour since there were three retrievals ahead of me, and that I could feel free to use the bathroom in that time, but not to when it got closer to the procedure. I immediately got up to use the restroom, since I have a tiny bladder, and I was already uncomfortable from chugging all that water.

Within that hour, I used the restroom three times. Hahahaha. I am the worst at keeping a full bladder. B kept yelling at me, telling me it was too close to the end of the hour, but I just couldn't hold it. I snuck out the last time, then hurried back to my room and chugged more water. While waiting for the doctor, I got to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade on the little TV!

My hospital footies (with traction on the bottom!)

Me!

Al Roker and the piss-poor actor from Chicago Fire

Dr. K. was my doctor today. He came in and brought me my "embryo report card" as he called it. The report card said that we retrieved 18 eggs, 9 fertilized, 0 fertilized abnormally, and 9 have made it to day five. He was very pleased with this. He pointed at the part that said one would be transferred back today, and that one is rated "HA-BG" or "Hatching Blastocyst  of Good Quality." "Good" is the higest rating they can get, so he said that the embryo was perfect. B and I had to sign the report card, and then it was go time!

Me and my full bladder (despite the fact that I used the restroom five minutes before this) walked back to the tiny transfer room located by the operating rooms. I passed by other ladies who were just out of their retrievals and all hooked up on machines while they recovered and said a little prayer for them. Then, we went into the teeny-tiny room that sits next to the IVF lab.

I climbed up onto the stretcher and they put a pillow under my bottom to elevate my hips and my downstairs business to the most uncomfortable and unflattering position ever. Then the transfer got started. The embryologists came in and had me verify my name and date of birth, then the doctor got everything set up "down there" which was awful both because my bladder was full and one tech was holding the ultrasound wand against my pelvis, and also because I don't think my cervix was cooperating, and the doctor couldn't get the catheter in. So, I had the unpleasant experience of him needing to use a little clamp that opens up the cervix...and that sucks. At this point, he knew I was not a happy camper and promised this was as uncomfortable was it was going to get. I asked what the big, black space on the monitor was, and he said, "That's your bladder. Please do not empty it right now." And we all laughed...which hurt to do. But it was funny. I told him I'd try.

The embryologist came back with my embryo in  this long pipette attached to a syringe, and I watched on the monitor as it was inserted into my womb, right next to the wall. At that very moment, I was, in all medical terms, pregnant. After the lab confirmed the embryo was out of the tubing, I was disconnected from everything, covered up and wheeled back to my room for a resting period of around fifteen minutes.

During this time, I closed my eyes and envisioned my embryo floating to my uterine lining and sticking there. Make yourself comfortable, Thor. It's going to be a long stay.

After the resting period, I got dressed, hugged my nurse, and B and I headed back home. I ate some soup (because my acupuncturist told me before that eating soups after the transfer helps the womb stay warm and the embryo to implant), let everyone know it went okay, then went to take a three hour long nap.

And now, we wait. SGF provides their patients with a little card attached to a paper that explains positive thinking and how to remain in a positive, healthy mindset during the two week wait. The card is supposed to be read once a day, and has ten ways you can put yourself back into a positive mindset. The paper included three questions about how to challenge negative thoughts, and they were:

1. Is this thought really true?
2. Is this thought helping me right now?
3. Is there another way I could look at this?

What a thoughtful piece of material to give, really. It makes me feel like they actually care. :)

So, here goes nothing, right? I'm so positive right now, because I feel like we've been given a second chance at SGF, and everything has gone well so far. Even if this doesn't work out, I have beautiful, frozen back up embryos to try again with. I won't have to go through a whole new fresh cycle, which is the worst feeling ever, knowing you have to do all the shots and suffer all the stress all over again.

As many have said already. This is my turn. I've waited long enough, and now it's my turn. One of my co-workers told me yesterday, "It sucks you have to go on Thanksgiving, but hey, if this works, you'll forever look at Thanksgiving in a whole new light."

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. <3